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She wondered..

arab-girl-societyImen Riahi


The great sadness when you find yourself searching for a paper and pen , wanting to write a short story talking about yourself, is ultimately a blessing.

 


When you think you are unique and no one can understand you it’s hard for you to have a close friend or a boyfriend either.

 


She was an everyone’s friend but no one was her friend.

 


She always needed someone to understand her. Emy was born in Tunisia in a quite big house; she was more mature than her age, maybe it’s not strange for a young girl surrounded by a big brother and sister to grow up more reasonable than average children. Emy was not that pretty or beautiful, she had brown hair, white skin, big brown eyes and a poker face. While people build up their personality when they're in their teens, Emy learned a great lesson from her neighbor’s friends since childhood...



Good morning , it's a new day , new thoughts , new paper to write on with a new pen. She woke up with pain inside, well , she wasn't the kind of person who sleep soundly and with no thoughts at all. Every night she took her memories and flew with her spirit to the moon, to the stars . SHE had always a fear of leaving this life early or in young age . She had always a feeling of emptiness and unsafeness . Every morning she went outside , she feared to die . She thought it was not her problem, her country made her feel this way . She remembered when she was a kid, she was in love with everyone and cried for every friend and they all let her down and didn't want to play with her . She loved them and now she hated her friends . She used to love wedding parties and enjoy dancing but now she preferred staying home and enjoy the silence . She loved everyone as much as she's ignoring them now . She's bad as much she was good . She told herself maybe if they understood her world and leave her alone everything would be fine . She stood up to her mirror and told her ghost in front of her :


I'm a weirdo , i need a doctor


i'm strong i'm a dreamer


i'm rich because i give


i'm fine because i write


i'm alive because i'm breathing


i'll survive because i want to,


And then she started thinking of her country again then she wondered: " What's a country ? We don't choose our countries as we don't pick up our families or religions . Should we accept a country like this ? A place where we feel warm and safe ? Happy ? A place where we can achieve our dreams ? But this country is killing our ambitions ! What country is the one where we girls can't even cross the border of the capital because our families are scared of possible rape and harassment ? Country is it the one that defends you , your ideas and opinions, but this country is sending her rebels to the jail ! acountry of freedom ? So why dear Tunisia is shutting us down ? Where people die trgically every day and even I may die ..." .


She wondered why people in horror movies just don't give up and die, then she knew that if she was in their place she would run and run all the same, would kill not to be killed , because only God could take her spirit . This was her life and she cauldn't keep living between four walls . She was a message , every life is a message and she wouldn't let her life to be a boring message, the story of a girl dreamer spending her life in bed. It would be a story of a dreamer girl trying to improve her reality. A self-confident woman trusting in herself . She would play , study , write , be happy . She would learn how to love , to dream , to make a change. She saw a pretty face showing off from the mirror as if he were behind her . Some one like Adam smiling to her .


" Adam ! i'll visit you everyday and visit all your friends in the hospital ; i'll sing to them and act some childish play , i'm not alone your spirit is always here with me ... brother . "

 


Imen Riahi

She wondered..