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Lost (dark thoughts )

femme-perduePoem by Ikram Souilem

I'm a lost soul in a daze without an end

my mind is drifting even when i'm with a friend

I sit and fake a smile

nod every once and a while

sometimes i act like a child

others i act so reckless and wild

I'm being who they excpect me to be

any way that's all they want to see in me

no one even notice that my hapiness is fake

how could they for God's sake?

I'm getting better in lies

that's a thing no one denies

I pay attention to what i say

I play the part 24h a day

I hide my pain so deep

I laugh when i want to weep

I get ready and go out

when all i want is to scream and shout

I do whatever comes to my mind

as long as it's something i can hide behind

they think i'm living on the edge

When all i want is to jump off a bridge

They think that i'm burden free

When i'm trapped not being me

I'm a lost soul , i live in hell

I just pretend to feel well

I hate this world but i play along

untill death takes me where i belong

to somewhere empty, somewhere calm

where no one can do me harm

sometimes all i want is to take a knife

and make my way out of this life

sometimes i imagine that's all i need

is to cut myself untill i bleed

to feel no pain , no guilt anymore

to do the one thing i'm looking for

it would be so easy and quick

to leave the world that's making me sick

but instead i fake a smile and wait for fate

death will come ,he's only late

meanwhile i'll play along

untill death takes me where i belong

by Ikram Souilem

Lost (dark thoughts )