Do not change yourself for anybody. Not even a family member, not even your father. There were a time where I was a normal girl I had friends I was having fun, basically I had a life.

But then one night with no alert my father left home, it's not that he left the country or left the world, no he just left the house, left us, left me...it's like there were nothing in the world bothering him as we did,

I admit that we had problems but he shouldn't leave, he was the man of the house he should've worked it out somehow but he didn't he just ran away.we didn't lose contact with him he just moved to the other side of the city where his office and job were set, my father was a strict man and I loved him I love him to the point that I never thought that he was wrong I love him to the point that I never say a word after his words I loved hi to the point where I thought I was the problem... I thought maybe it was the way I looked or my friends bothered him I thought maybe I was a bad girl maybe I made him leave I was sixteen then.

So at the end I decided to change I left my friends one after another, then I changed the way I looked I threw all the make-up I had even though I only used eye-liner, I let my hair grow longer while I loved it when it's short I stopped wearing skinny jeans and every night I was crying on my bed waiting for him to come home sleeps in the other room and would hear him snoring and feel secure, I would feel that nothing in the world could take away my smile or could ever hurt me, and then the next day he would wake me up early for school and I wouldn't complain about it. But all that waiting was in vain he never came home and my dark room kept getting darker until it took over my soul and his hands weren't there to grab me out...

I ended up by being this cold heartless person that doesn't care for anyone else but itself I became ant-social human being I cut off all my relationships with people and shutting down all the new once in my life I ended up being thirty years old while I haven't reach my twenties yet.and what hurt is I still love him the most but he doesn't seem to care. Now my mom is sick and my Father is away. My mom would never comfort me for not having dad around. And my dad wouldn't comfort me while my mom is sick.

Home should've been the place where all the problems just disappear somewhere out the door, home should've been the only place with comfort. For me it's hell and I keep taking every opportunity to run away from it.

At the end my love for my father made me change myself for something I would call a monster , it made me lose myself, it made me lose my life. What would you lose if you change yourself for the sake of someone else ?